A few months ago I was in Nauvoo, Illinois, taking a stroll around the parking lot of the church. I was in one of those modes of trying to figure out where I fit in. It’s a meandering thought that plagues all of us throughout our lifetime. We have these moments where we don’t feel like we belong or understand where we fit in. The question becomes even more profound after we have experienced trauma, therefore, after the abuse I suffered as a child, I was in a constant mode of feeling like I didn’t belong to anything or anybody. I thanked God that I have a jolly heart. I leaned on that, riding the wave of life, trying to be as happy as I could, but there was always a lingering pull toward some destination I had no idea of. It was an unnamed territory. This left me feeling lost and unsure of myself.
I would watch many friends around me engage in routine social pleasures, but I often stayed aloof. A good portion of myself was happy to be alone because I was still in my safety box. I’ve always been an introvert with extroverted tendencies, someone who craves social interaction and fun yet values the times I can crawl into my shell and hide from everyone. There’s a particular scene in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer where Rudolph is trying to find his parents and his girlfriend. As he travels, he begins to grow, and along the way, he finds a couple of polar bears to play with, but his joy doesn’t last long because he hears the roar of the abominable, and he has to move on. That is how it always felt. I had an unstructured childhood, constantly on the move, staying in places for a little while, making friends, and then we would move again. Today, I’m constantly on the move, doing firesides and meeting new people. I’m not complaining at all; it’s one of the most amazing blessings in my life, but still, there’s that little part of me that wonders where I fit in, and that was my question for that day: where do I fit in because I do not feel like I fit into the world?
After becoming a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was propelled into a world I wasn’t prepared for. That is not to say I was not happy, quite the opposite. But suddenly, this shift required me to be out of my safety box. That is when I began to do the firesides, standing in front of hundreds and sometimes thousands of people and speaking about the importance of following the Holy Ghost in all things, aligning yourself with the Savior, and forgiveness.
Fast forward 20 years later, I have learned much on this journey and grown exponentially. I understand the mission I’ve been given to reach out to people and help heal hearts and in the process I’ve healed as well. But there I was on that hot summer day musing in the parking lot of the church. I looked up at the Nauvoo Temple and silently said, “I have never felt like I fit in. Never. Even though I have good friends and feel close to people, I just don’t feel like I fit into the world.”
I no sooner uttered the question when a voice said to me, “you didn’t come into this world to fit into it you came to change it, all of you did.” In that instant, my longing for worldly connection and acceptance faded, replaced by a broader perspective. This isn’t our home we came to, this is a place we are hoping to teach, learn, and grow so that we may return to our heavenly home. We are here to purify our hearts and help change the hearts of others. Though we are often reminded to be in the world and not of it, this truth can be difficult to grasp when raised in a culture that values conformity. Those who choose a different path may inevitably feel isolated. Many who walk the way of Christ and try to emulate him will feel this way, after all, He was rejected by the world. So it’s natural to feel like you don’t fit in. I valued what I had learned that day in the church parking lot, but imagine my joy when, during the October General Conference, Brother Brad Wilcox made the statement “do not let the world change you, you came here to change the world!” I nearly fell off of my chair and I had to I smile.
So, what does this mean? Is it beneficial to feel like an outsider? Not necessarily. However, it’s important to understand that as a follower of Christ, you may often experience a sense of disconnection from the world. This feeling is not a negative reflection on you but rather a testament to your unique mission. Rather than trying to find out where you “fit in,” look for what your purpose is. Finding your purpose will naturally draw to you people and situations that fit who you are and why you are here. In this manner, you will find connection and feel valued and needed. Once that happens, you will understand that you never came here to conform to the world but instead to bring positive change and purify hearts so that people can conform to Christ instead of the world.
Echo: A series of sounds caused by the reflection of sound waves from a SURFACE back to the LISTENER.
Consider the surface is your origin (heaven), the listener is you, and the sound is God communicating with you. In that respect, our heartbeat is a reminder of who we are, where we came from, and why we are here. The heart is mentioned over 1000 times in the Bible, and about 265 times in The Book of Mormon. Try to find each reference and ponder what it is saying. Knowing that the heart is spiritual as well as physical changes the meaning of each reference. When the heart is mentioned, it often pertains to finding Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, following the Holy Ghost, purification, loving, focus & direction, and forgiving.
Our bodies are our temples, and the heart is the holy of holies, as such we should be careful what feelings and emotions we allow to take root there. Feelings begin in the heart. As soon as we are confronted with something joyful or painful, the effect starts to form feelings in the heart. At that point, the neurons begin taking that message up toward our brain and then we begin to form thoughts based on those feelings. That is why it is important to have a mediator between the heart and the brain. This can be any element you choose. I am a visual person so I imagine there is a bouncer between my heart and brain, I have assigned that bouncer to a certain look.
My bouncer is a Korean warrior from the Silla time period. Whenever I start to have feelings that are not good based on a situation that I’ve run into, and I begin to start having negative thoughts I picture in my mind the warrior driving those thoughts out. While that is happening I engage in something positive. That could be calling someone I haven’t talked to in a while, reading scriptures, watching a funny movie, or going out to do volunteer work. In these actions, I have shifted my focus elsewhere while allowing my bouncer to take care of the negativity. By the end of the day, I have been engaged in so many positive activities that the time has passed for negativity to take root. For others there can be different methods that work better because everyone’s different. The point is we need to have a system with us that recognizes the point when negativity opens the door for the adversary. We need to be in tune spiritually so when we feel it happening, we send out a call to action. Exercises such as these will help to be able to keep our hearts clear and purified. We need purification of our hearts in these times or we will not be able to withstand what is coming.
Another interesting thought is how an echocardiogram shows a blueprint of our heart. It checks for blockages and measures heart flow capacity. Spiritually speaking, how does our heart appear to Heavenly Father when he looks at it? Are there any blockages? Is the spiritual flow going well?
I have found so many neat insights to the spiritual heart since reading Dr. Anita Phillips’ book, The Garden Within. I highly recommend it!
This past weekend, April 25-27th, we held The Women’s Retreat. It is an event that has been ongoing for many years now. My son and I took it over about eight years ago, and there was a slight pause when COVID-19 hit. Because of moving and health issues, it took time to start back up. We were happy that after four years we could start doing it again.
Every Nauvoo Women’s Retreat has been amazing. We have had guests that range from Alan Osmond to Jenny Doan of Missouri Star Quilt Company, and many other individuals who have experienced good and bad major events in their lives. They come and share how they were blessed and strengthened through faith with every experience they endured. There hasn’t been one year that it has been disappointing in any way.
Starting up again was a challenge because we couldn’t use the venue we used the years before. We usually have everything ready to send out so people can sign up in October. But it took until January of this year to get the event pulled together. It was short notice for many, especially for finding speakers. I am generally not one of the keynote speakers, but I do a fireside on one of the evenings of the event. This year, however, I had to fill in because we couldn’t find a fourth speaker in time. It turned out to be a blessing.
I’ve been working on a book about forgiveness and the faith crisis in the Church of Jesus Christ of latter -day Saints that has been surging in past years. People are having a crisis for varying reasons. Some have lifestyles that cause conflict, some have a conflict with the church’s past history and leadership, and some have a conflict with the leadership of today. My primary focus is the issues people are having with history. The focus is on the importance of trying to process those emotions, find a place of forgiveness, and let those issues go, focusing on the missions we came to fulfill. As such, my talk was about the heart and the need to purify it in view of the times we live in and the times that are coming. The only way to live with our Father in heaven is to strive to have a purified heart. This includes having a heart of forgiveness. We all know it isn’t easy at all to reach that point. The Savior never said it was easy but the scriptures say it is necessary. I don’t have the answers to help everyone solve their issues of the past, but I do know that it is pivotal to find a way to process anger so it doesn’t turn to hatred and bitterness. That can mean something different for everyone; therapy, scripture study and prayer, meditation…whatever it is, find the route that works for you.
The other speakers were lined up for a specific theme, Overcoming Through Christ. We each spoke about traumas we have been through and how the Savior and focusing on the Holy Ghost helped us endure those experiences, making us stronger. My sister who is a convert also spoke of her journey out of lesbianism and abusive relationships. Another speaker talked of her life and how she has dealt with emotionally abusive situations including racism. The last speaker was an amazing therapist who rounded everything up by giving us tools to handle the pressures of the times that we live in and the times that are coming. She spoke of how to hold on to our faith and keep our family strong.
Although this retreat was thrown together quickly it turned out to be one of the most powerful. If anyone is interested in purchasing the talks send me an e-mail and I will get you the information. The proceeds go to support the retreat. As with my firesides, the retreat has become a mission of sorts. I do not get paid to do it, neither does my son. The speakers do not get paid, however, they do get the travel expenses and food paid as well as lodging. In other words, it’s a two-day, three-night trip to Nauvoo for them. So many speakers have been gracious to give up their time to come, and not having to pay anyone allows us to keep the cost of the retreat at a less expensive level so people who generally can’t afford to attend these events can come. We will have the information for next year’s retreat out by October. For information you can join the Nauvoo Women’s Retreat page on Facebook.
I am going to be busy putting together a podcast and getting this book finished so that I can use every means possible to get the message out about the importance of forgiveness. In my last blog post, I expressed the feelings that had been put to me by the spirit, that 2024 will be filled with many changes and challenges. I think we can all agree those things have already started but there will be more. One thing that’s been conveyed to me as I’ve been writing my book is that you can’t have your arms wrapped around the past for too long, because you can’t hold on to it and hold on to the Savior. This will also keep you from seeing what God has before you to do, so if you’re looking behind all of the time you won’t see what’s waiting in front of you.
There is a scripture that talks about our hearts failing us in the latter days. I used to think of it on a medical level, but I think it is more on a spiritual level because if our hearts are not purified, and we cannot get to a place where we can forgive one another, our hearts will not be able to handle the times that are coming. There will be much spiritual heart damage causing our spiritual hearts to fail.
In the past whenever world events seemed so bad, I would ask myself if things felt close to the end. The overall feeling was a calm that whispered it’s okay, just keep moving, it’s not quite yet. Now it feels like when you’re in an airplane and you know there might be trouble ahead because you can sense the way the airplane is acting. You wonder if something bad is going to happen but you tell yourself it’s okay once the wheels touch the ground you know you’re safe. But now it feels like that moment when we’re all buckled in and they’re telling us to brace. I am bracing, but I’m also aware of God’s word, “be still and know that I am God.” If we are aligned with Him and the Savior, and we are living our lives in a way that the Holy Ghost is always with us, all will be well. I’m grateful to have the gospel in my life and pray that everyone begins to look into their hearts, making sure that they are healthy spiritually and physically.
Why did you come here? To engage in trivial things that are worldly? To try to make some dent and gain recognition in the world? Or is it something much deeper but not transparent?
We are here to be in the world but not of the world. In that journey, we learn all that we can, not just knowledge from study but intellectual and spiritual growth that comes through experience; the kind of growth we undergo through trial, challenge, suffering, joy, and happiness. On that walk, we are to use our gifts, talents, and the knowledge that we’ve gained to help transform the lives of others who are struggling more than, as much as, and less than we are. We are here to show others and ourselves the importance of gaining as much spiritual light and knowledge as possible, ponder upon God’s word, and apply it in ways that change our hearts and the hearts of others. We are here to master the challenge of the first two greatest commandments to love God and to love one another. More than anything, in this time, we are here to help gather Israel and bring people unto Christ.
This is not just a time we were assigned to make something of ourselves but instead grow in the light of Christ and share that light with others. The war in heaven never truly ended. That war rages on inside of us and within the world, thus, we have come in these times as warriors from our Father. We are here in these times to help prepare ourselves for what is here and what is to come. That preparation involves lifting one another, loving one another, learning how to overcome grievances, forgiving one another, and exemplifying the pure love of Christ. This is why we are here. What we make of ourselves when it comes to the pure love of Christ, the gospel, and the light that we have in our lives, is what we will take with us when we leave. We are here to change hearts, including our own. We should learn from the mistakes of those who came before us and put those mistakes to rest, then magnify the good of those same people so that we may build upon the foundation laid before us.
In saying all of this, I am not discounting the importance of hobbies and careers. It is good that we find joy, passion, and growth in such ways, and we have been given gifts and talents to utilize in those endeavors which, by extension, help build relationships and lift and comfort others. It is a difficult balance, this being in the world but not of it. Sometimes the two can become blurred and it is hard to tell where the line is. As long as we know where our primary focus should be and we remain aligned with the Savior, it is a balance that can be maintained…or is it?
Balance is a tricky concept. I do not think I have ever come across anything that actually stays in balance on its own. It takes great effort and continual monitoring so that when the scale leans one way or the other too much it can be corrected. Living our lives in a way that the Holy Ghost is always with us and keeping that alignment with Christ is how we orient ourselves in times of adversity and confusion. I included on my 2024 vision board, goals to read all of the scriptures. I also committed to do this first thing in the morning because in that way I am fortified by the armor of God before I step foot out of the door to meet the world and all of the possibilities it offers, especially the adversarial ones! These are ways in which I will attempt to remain in balance.
In these times remember that Satan is aware of those who are for the Savior, We are cautioned to be watchful of all things and measure every encounter with discernment because, above all other dispensations, this is the one where the adversary has the most to lose. He is fighting hard and sparing no attempt to disarm and mislead us. We cannot let ourselves be impeded by his attempts to pull us away from where the Spirit has led us to be. Always follow the Holy Ghost, who trumps everything in this world and the balance will stay true.
The year 2024 promises to be one of great happenings as well as dark occurrences. It is the way every year preceding has been, only every year gets worse. However, it is a remarkable time to be living. If you are not in alignment with the Savior, start walking that way. Fortify yourselves spiritually so that you can be in the world and not of it with strength and not fear. Keep an eye on your spiritual scale so that you may recognize when it is veering to the left or right and remove what is causing the disturbance.
Why do you think you are here? Whatever the reason, take your gifts and talents and use them to bring light into the world. Let us collectively illuminate the world and bring light to each other. Let us lift hearts and unite one another in the love of our Savior Jesus Christ.
“What was once before was once before and may not ever be, What is, is now and what you choose, you will tomorrow see But when tomorrow is itself and seems a dark abyss, Remember it was you who chose and why today is this.” K.J.S.
Wise choices are so pivotal in our lives, and balance is key when it comes to having a clear head when we are faced with difficult situations or temptations. The choices we make truly determine who we are and what we become. As I have seen Facebook posts and YouTube videos of people violently protesting and anarchists attempting to break apart the foundation of our nation and constitution, I began to question where the balance in all of it is. After all, it is in the balance of all things one will find a solution and make wise choices.
Balance entails coming together, speaking minds even when we do not agree, being heard without yelling or trying to talk over who is trying to be heard. I was reminded that the Spirit speaks calmly and softly, even when we are being warned of danger. In contrast, the adversary speaks in anger, bitterness, loses his temper, screams, and is hateful. If you ever feel these things when venting or expressing opinions, you can bank on the fact that Satan is one step behind you urging you on. Even knowing these things, I am still perplexed concerning the situation we find ourselves in today. So how do we reconcile this?
I believe that balance comes in many ways. First we have to recalibrate our mental and emotional scales. This can happen in many ways. To me, therapy is something we all should experience sometime in our lives. I used to think that I dealt well with stress because I have a strong constitution. Whenever something hard or traumatizing happens, it is in my make-up to get up, brush myself off and get back on the horse, moving forward with intent and crying a bit on the way. After time I would forget about the rough patches, unaware that my body had stored the experiences to relive over and over like a scary movie. The outcome taught me that the affects of trauma and stress do not just go away because you wave them off, or suck it up as they used to say. No, in fact the body has to store it somewhere because it hasn’t been processed and released. It’s what it would be like if one never took out the trash; it would build up into a mess, stinking up and deteriorating its surroundings. In the same way, all of the negative energy from past sorrows took root in my muscles and digestive system, resulting in a menagerie of illness that could not be diagnosed because all of my test results were fine. Only through therapy can we peel through the layers and process emotional and mental struggles. By releasing their attachment we can move forward in peace. There are different avenues to therapy, even the Church offers counseling that is set up through your bishop. Find the path that works for you.
Secondly, mental and emotional balance can be achieved through exercise and meditation. Qigong and Tai Qi are two of many methods of relaxing exercise and meditation. Some instructors generalize their program theme so that all may feel welcome by using the universe as a focal point to invite healing and balance. One can easily replace “universe” with “Heavenly Father.” There are many other kinds of meditation formats available on YouTube. Choosing one that makes you feel comfortable and at peace while not going against gospel principles is key.
Thirdly, you really are what you eat. If you fill your body with junk, you will begin to feel like junk; heavy, no energy, and depressed. It is no different than failing to take proper care of your car. If you do not get it serviced regularly, things will get clogged and begin to break down. It is okay to junk out every now and then, I am speaking about how one eats on a daily basis. Make sure you are eating a nutrient based diet with lots of vegetables and fruits, lean meats and fish. I love the Mediterranean diet the best but it is wise to choose a plan that works well with your body because everyone is different. Visiting with your doctor can help determine which eating plan works best for you. Try and walk a mile each day and work with weights a few times a week, even if it is just dumbells.
Fourth, enjoy yourself. Find things that you love and take time to do them. If you have hobbies you love but very little time to enjoy them, pick at least two times a month where you can squeeze your hobby in. You need to partake of your passions so as not to lose yourself. Connect with friends and have fun, attend church regularly so that you may receive a renewal of the Spirit and spend time with friends and family in worship. Try and go to the park or some place you enjoy once a week; touch base with nature. Connecting with nature is a gift that has been given to us, it is part of what grounds us and brings peace. Shut out the noise of the world, the stresses from work, and the chaotic turmoil of society. Ground yourself.
Lastly and most important, is scripture study, prayer, and not just meditation but mediation with the Lord. Partaking in daily scripture study and prayer can balance out your whole day from the beginning until you go to sleep at night. You may still run into struggles but you will find them easier to bear. There have been so many times when a scripture I had read in the morning, helped me resolve an issue later the same day. Also, your mind is very clear first thing in the morning, it is fresh and easily absorbs everything you listen to and read. Having such clarity allows you to be focused so that you are able to receive knowledge and inspiration from what you are reading. Prayer and meditation is key when communing with the Lord. I know there are situations where time is limited, but make time to ensure your prayer is not quick. Be thoughtful in your words; seek guidance, give thanks, leave room for silence so that you may hear Him. Mediation is an important aspect of our relationship with the Lord. Our Savior is the Great Mediator. Talk to Him, tell Him about your day as if He is your best friend. Tell Him your struggles and ask for guidance. He wants to be part of your life, invite Him in. He “lives to make intercession” for us (Heb. 7:25)
If you are feeling the impact of the noisy, imbalanced world we live in, find all of the paths available to achieve balance. Recalibrate your spiritual, mental, and emotional well being by growing closer to the Lord and inviting Him into your life in expansive measures. Meditate, engage in your passions, embrace your family, find reasons to laugh…if you can’t find a reason to laugh, make one. Lift one another, love one another. May your lives and hearts be blessed with peace in these times.
Years ago, I was reading the Teachings and Commentaries on the Doctrine and Covenants, a resource that I dearly love. I came upon the account of what moved the early pioneer saints to be willing to sacrifice everything, including their lives, to build up the Church. After reading, I was reminded of the discussion I was in charge of in Relief Society for that month; The Eye of Faith, by Elder Neil L. Anderson. Certain passages of that lesson focused upon the necessity of living in the world without being of the world. While reading the Doctrine and Covenants commentary days later, I remembered that part of Elder Anderson’s talk. Suddenly, I could not help but compare the early Restoration period with our own concerning the distractions of the world. It quickly became clear why many struggle to maintain their faith.
I had never compared the effect of current world distractions on faith and testimony versus that of other periods in history. Moving forward to today and how much has changed in just a few years, it is devastating to see how shifts in world society have caused a distraction from faith for many. I began to comprehend that, even though the early saints faced many physical hardships and threats we do not have to contend with, in contrast, we are presented with challenges on levels beyond what they could have imagined. Satan has upped his game; now that physical threats and intimidation are not the only way to play the game, he has moved on to an even more lethal playing field; the mind.
Firstly, let’s take a look at our pioneer ancestors and the distractions they faced. Just how noisy was their world? Compared with today’s convenience of instant news, radio, television, and other channels of entertainment that come with a click, the world of the average pioneer anywhere in the United States in the mid to late 1800’s was quiet, more reserved, and more settled. That is not to say, however, that things were not tense, it is just that news traveled slower, and they were not exposed to so much trauma and instability worldwide at one time. There are a few exceptions such as people of persecution, and the Latter Day Saint pioneers fall into that category.
Early pioneers of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are not to be considered independent in the category of 19th-century human suffering. People of color were enduring their own trials with slavery, and persecution of the Native American tribes was continually increasing. This type of human behavior is far removed from how Christ taught us to be toward those who we find different or disagree with. For Latter Day Saints at that time, the noise of the world was quite a bit louder than it was for their pioneer neighbors. While they would have been aware of certain events such as the financial crisis of 1837, bank failures, extreme depression, and poverty, they had the added stress of having to be on standby at all times in case of an attack by a mob, or the law as a result of false charges from their persecutors. Though they were continually blessed by the fullness of joy they had received in the gospel of Jesus Christ, the adversary was constantly at their heels ready to devour that joy and try to turn their hearts. It is his greatest skill and is only successful if we allow our faith to waiver and cave in to the struggle.
The tools of the adversary in the 19th nineteenth century were less aggressive. After all, he can only work with what advances we have evolved in. The way that he distracted strong believers was comprised of things that were a physical or visual threat; something that you could see coming, such as a militia or a mob of men with blackened faces carrying torches. Being aware of the possibilities of such threats, families listened and watched for any indication of approaching troubles; torches in the night, twigs snapping, dogs being alerted, and the marching of many men or rushing of horse’s hooves. Then, there were the odd times when members of the Church had friends who were not of their faith that would warn them of planned attacks. This is what the early Latter-Day Saint pioneers had to deal with; the constant threat, always on the ready, and never a moment to truly relax and feel safe. How did they stay strong? How was it that, even though many did fall away and become persecutors as well, the greater number of them stayed true to their faith?
One example of trial by fire was when the Saints were in Missouri during the 1838-1839 period. When persecutions began to rise, many of the men were in hiding or on the run, leaving the women to band together and fend for themselves. In the case of the Smith family there was one point where many men of the family were gone. Joseph and Hyrum were in Liberty Jail, Samuel Smith had taken his nephew Arthur Millikin who had been injured at the battle of Crooked River, and he fled to Illinois because the mob was seeking to take his life. Just before the Battle of Crooked River, Don Carlos Smith had departed for a mission to the east. On October 18, 1838 Just weeks after leaving for his mission, Don Carlos’ wife Agnes was pushed out of her home with her little children. Agnes was fearful of mob attacks since the troubles in Missouri began. She slept with her children and did not undress so as to be on the ready if they needed to move fast. One evening her fears were realized as angry, drunken men burst through the door of her cabin, carried her out on a mattress and left her there. In the cold winter’s night air, she protectively held her new baby and her daughter Agnes who was just two years old was with her. The mob had taken all of her household goods then burned the cabin but she had escaped, “By the skin of my teeth.” She traveled in darkness, leaving footprints of blood in the snow that was over “shoemouth” deep to Big Muddy Creek, a tributary of the Grand River, there she would cross the frigid water which was waist deep. Little Agnes clung to her with legs wrapped around her neck, and she held the babe snuggly against her breast. They arrived at the Cabin of Lyman Wight about an hour before midnight. By the time they arrived they had traveled over three miles. Many other women and children received this same treatment.
I couldn’t imagine having to go through such a traumatic experience! To have the strength to flee in that environment took immeasurable faith and fortitude. She had been very weakened by the birth of her child. It is evident that these pioneers, and many people of faith of that time, had a very strong relationship with the Lord. They truly believed with His support they could push through any trial, and they walked forward in the face of each tribulation, one after the other, enduring and growing with each turn of events. They did not have the distractions we do today. In the evening when everyone was home the time was spent reading the family bible as well as other books. There were discussions at the table or around the fireplace. They engaged in fervent prayer. I remember reading where my 3rd great grandmother, Lucy Mack Smith, spent three hours ill and on her knees in prayer to be relieved of her sickness and she was. My second great grandmother, Emma Hale Smith pressed forward through all of these persecutions, losing children along the way, because she could not deny what she knew to be true. She found most of her strength through constant prayer. These were people who were blessed to receive direct revelation and miracles that saved them many times because of their commitment to the Lord and staying close to Him.
Today, we have those same capabilities of staying strong, but as I said, the adversary has upped his game. He no longer has to stir the anxiety of people using a physical threat like sending a militia. Now all he has to do is stir the minds of people into darkness; porn, dark music, racism, getting offended easily, cries of inequality that bring about criticism against man and God. It all starts out so subtly. Unlike a militia or mob storming into your home, it is subtly seeping into your mind within your home, through your eyes; Facebook posts, fake news that stir hearts against one another, a movie that doesn’t seem harmless at first but there are just a few bad things, you dismiss them because the movie is just that good. Before long many boundaries have been broached and you find yourself dismissing much more than you used to, until finally you have jumped onto the bandwagon that God’s laws are outdated, Joseph Smith and Brigham Young made mistakes so the Church isn’t true, Church history is contradicting itself, etc.
Any excuse sounds like a good reason to walk away so that you can fit in with the world and feel as if you are accepted by those around you. Because, let’s face it, fully staying true to the teachings of Christ sets one apart from the majority…from the world. However, that is exactly what we are supposed to be, set apart from the world while we are living in it. The way that Christ lived His life was at odds with the norm in His society, and He has said that those who follow Him must be willing to accept such an existence. It made Him unpopular, but He found a way to live in the world and not be of it. He has shown us how to do it as well.
Still, even when we are at our strongest, situations can be stirred to bend our faith and break it. An example of how even the most devoted can be tried is when Peter, one of the strongest of Jesus’ followers, had a weak moment when he denied Christ. When you compare that with mistakes that people of God have made since then it is huge. Still, the gospel was not thrown under the bus, Peter repented, they all came together and magnified what the Lord had taught them, continuing to build His church. In other words, they didn’t jump ship because mistakes were made.
How did the early Saints stay true and gain immeasurable strength? They never compromised their beliefs. No matter what was put before them, they could not deny what they had seen and experienced. They stayed in communication with the Lord and prayed endlessly. They studied scripture and continued to cultivate the pure love of Christ. This is how we manage to love everyone; despite their choices in life and what things we disagree on. We can live in the world, not be of the world, yet love every human being. We can stay true to our faith no matter what strangeness or contradictions in history we run into. This world can be a tilt-a-whirl that can spin out of control fast, but the Savior is the balance, and as long as we hold on to Him, we will never fall off.
Ever since I was young, my mother taught me the value of listening to the Spirit; that when you are drawn somewhere, you must follow it even if it doesn’t make sense. In time I would find that it made sense later. This is faith; following a prompting without evidence that the path you are on is leading to some place sound. Tying this into genealogy throughout the years, I have found so many joys from following promptings. There were many times when I would meet and come to know someone, then feel very drawn to know more. I would soon learn that meant to check and see if we were related and the answer most of the time was yes. However, sometimes they were not related, and I continued interacting with them because I knew there was a door somewhere in that path that would open. The doors that opened in these relationships were paths for people who were not of our faith to have a better understanding of what we believe, coming to see us in a different light than what society and history has revealed to them.
Anytime I become acquainted with people who aren’t members of our faith, there is a span of time that passes before they know what church I belong to and then even more time before they know that Joseph Smith is my great-great grandfather. Why? Because I learned when they know that first, the caution signs go up and they keep a distance without getting to know me. Their first reaction is shock because I am so far removed from what they envisioned a “Mormon” to be. It always makes me wonder if they ever bothered to really get to know one. However, after they get to know me and then find out my faith and relation to Joseph, they begin to ask questions and what follows are long discussions about what we really believe, and I find much happiness in clearing up their misconceptions about Joseph due to false narratives.
At that point they are not ready to believe what I believe, but they are not afraid of it anymore. This breakdown is the beginning of healing fractures of the heart and mind. As we speak about the questions they have, they come to the conclusion that we are not so far apart from what they believe aside from temple work. I recall a neat conversation I had with one lady, and she asked me about temples. This led to a discussion on the levels of heaven and I told her where that can be found in the Bible but she already knew about it! She said, “Oh yeah, I know about that. I am trying to do my best and hope to at least be in the lowest kingdom of heaven.” I wanted to say so much to her about the plan of salvation but something said to hold back and take it slow. The important thing is that their fear was gone. So far, everyone at my work place who have asked me questions are less rigid toward the church, this process is breaking down generational walls of hatred and bitterness.
I have always known that part of my role on earth is to bring healing, not just to members of the Church but to everyone. It is something that many are involved in, an effort that has been ongoing for generations. I continue to be fascinated by the many peoples and cultures my journey has introduced me to. In all of these meetings, I try to bring a sense of happiness, joy, laughter, and camaraderie. To me, the overall goal is to bring them to Christ, to learn of Christ, and to strive to be like Him. No matter what faith they belong to, when they accept Him, He will lead them where they need to be.
As time passes I am becoming active with people of other faiths from all over the world. Our discussions will consist of the value of harmonious and respectful discussions about our beliefs with the emphasis of love for one another and healing the world. In these discussions I will speak of Christ and His teachings as well as the Restoration. As I continue to meet people in my community and beyond, I will express love, joy, and peace in every mannerism of my speech, shaking hands, and from my countenance in hopes their hearts might be touched. This is my way of casting the net and bringing hearts unto Christ. Many hands are on that net. It is so important to keep deepening the relationship between ourselves, the Savior, and Heavenly Father, which in turn will help us to be more aware of the Spirit and more discerning in our hearts. As such we will be led to those who need healing. I pray that we all maintain our health and strength in these times. I’ll leave you with a poem that I wrote some years ago. Have a blessed week!
Oftentimes when I am inspired to write something, especially poetry, it comes out of left field, and I have no idea where it will end up. This one in particular hit me hard. When I began writing it, I was addressing the state of our world and society today but within a few lines, it became the perspective of someone who had lived long ago when times were simpler, more respectable, and as a whole more in tune with the Lord. I knew as I kept writing that this would be what someone felt if they had been resurrected and experienced the impact of the world as it is, or if someone had come from the past into the future. Either way, I felt the full impact as I wrote. Many tears streamed down my face as my fingers moved furiously on the keyboard. I wrote this the day after I had an amazing dream that involved President Uchdorf speaking of the return of Christ and how important it is that we reign in our focus where it should be, using all of our gifts and talents to teach of Christ, lift those around us, and embrace one another.
I cannot bare the scene
Laid out before my soul
Is this what once was and now is?
How have we thus diminished?
I sink to my knees in sorrow
I remember much more light
I recall a depth of etiquette and grace
Of respect and value there is little trace
Where do I now go?
What will I see tomorrow?
I fall and stumble in weeping
I wake and stir in sleeping
What is this pain?
What is this death?
It is too far reaching
For my ancestors knew it not
Despite the woe and sorrow
That may have rolled before them
Like thunder in the night
They knew the bond of friendship and kin
Could prevail any storm
They embraced true teaching
So many fractured ties
So many broken hearts
How do we gather the multitude of pieces?
They lay scattered like a mosaic covering of the earth
I often hear the saying, “God will never give you more than you can handle,” in fact, I have heard several say it when they pour their hearts out about trials they are experiencing. It seems to bring a measure of comfort to some, but to others, it is confusing because they feel they are going through much more than they think they can handle.
The other day I heard someone remark that the saying is the adversary’s way of deceiving us; a Christian meme that has been making the rounds for some time but that is in fact a falsehood. I began to research the origins of the saying and found many interesting articles, one of which had the following to say:
“People who say this are usually trying to encourage someone who is suffering or facing a difficult situation. They usually have 1 Corinthians 10:13 in mind. ‘ “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” ‘ While the intention to encourage others is good, they are twisting Scripture to make it say something it doesn’t.” (1)
The more I thought about what this article had to say, the more it made sense. Of course God allows us to take on more than wethink we can handle! As the article states, He offers a path that will enable us to endure it, and after having gone through the trial, we grow stronger and learn from the experience. How would we grow if we were not engaged in overcoming obstacles and challenges? This taught me to appreciate the struggles I have gone through in the past. Although they were not very pleasant, I can look back and see how my Heavenly Father helped me gain strength through His son, Jesus Christ. I learned so much about myself through every experience, that if I have the faith and courage to reach out to Him, He will always be there.
When we look upon the past history of The Church; the pioneer journals, and the oral histories, we find endless accounts of the trials and suffering that our ancestors endured. Each account is etched with a golden vein of faith that leads to a heart of spiritual strength that could only be built from those trials. Every time they overcame, they became stronger. Such was the case with every faith-based heart that preceded them, from the time of Adam and Eve and onward.
It is so important to study the scriptures and journals of our pioneer ancestors. It is just as important to do our own journaling in these times so that those who come after us will have something of value to turn to when they encounter obstacles and challenging times. I am so grateful to have living apostles and a prophet to lead and guide us in these times; to have scriptures that are filled with stories of those who overcame trials and suffering through faith and endurance.
It is a certainty that we will indeed have more than we think we can handle. As one page of trials turns to another, the pages of the scriptures will help us to learn, grow, and endure–all with the Savior by our side, if we turn to Him.
Last night, I was watching the final episode of The Chosen, season one. They touched upon a topic that echoes the message I have striven to express in every fireside I have done; forgiveness and letting go of the past so we may fully embrace the Gospel today. In the scene, Jesus and the disciples are on a journey, and some of them begin to grow concerned because they feel they are getting off track. When they start to point out to Jesus that there is a safer way to where they are going, he informs them that they are going to Samaria. The announcement causes grave concern for fear of violence due to the turbulent history between the Samaritans and Jews. Big James comes forward and says,
“But Rabbi, the Samaritans…”
“What is your point, Big James?” Jesus asked.
“These were the people who profaned our temple….” Big James answered, to which Jesus so wisely replied;
“And we destroyed their temple a hundred years ago, and none of you here were present for any of these things.”
In this statement, Jesus brings attention to the dangers of focusing on negative or violent events of the past, including human error. His message to them expresses the reality that we are surrounded by now; that if focus remains on mistakes of the past and holding grudges, then focus is not on the gospel today and our role in it. This has been the experience of so many who have become caught up in doubt when faced with proven or perceived human error they have discovered in history. Once the door to that doubt is opened, testimonies are weakened, and in many cases lost.
In journey to Samaria scene, the conversation ends by Jesus simply saying, “we’ll be fine …. follow me.” It is that simple, humans just seem to complicate it. We will surely be fine and need to lay aside concerns about a past that we weren’t even there to witness and see for ourselves. After all, how many of those mistakes are actually true and how many are based on speculation? When we see or hear things that cause doubt or fear as we are in the midst of building the kingdom and gathering Israel, we must remember those words… “we’ll be fine, follow me,” and move onward.
Those who truly know and love the Savior are drawn where the light is strongest. After many generations of living in spiritual darkness, where the light was very dim, there began to stir in the hearts of men a desire for truth to come forth. They yearned for knowledge that conformed more fully to the early teachings of Christ, without the added doctrines of men. Thus, was ushered in the time of the Reformation. Great ministers opened their mouths in defense of the Word of God, laying down their lives in the process. They were persecuted and forced to flee in secret, until the wave of aggression carried them over to the American Colonies in search of religious freedom.
As generations passed in the Colonies, many different religions were organized. They began to quarrel one with the other over who was the most correct. Thus was the pattern of events that led to the Restoration in 1830; the ebb and flow of activity that prompted people to speak and move for reasons they did not completely understand but we see today. When one studies over the trials, joys, successes, sorrows, and enlightenment that coursed through those early pioneers of the Reformation and Restoration, it is clear to see why their testimonies were so strong. In contrast, the times we now live in have created an atmosphere that makes it more difficult for many to maintain an unbreakable testimony, and the adversary knows that he can use the past to shake the foundations of even the strongest fortress of faith. However, we always have at our hand the strongest armor and the most powerful defense if we just turn to the Savior.
Those of you who know my story are acquainted with the many traditions I was raised with; traditions I found later to be skewed or untrue altogether. Unfortunately, there were also some unpleasant incidences and human error I found to be true in Church history; choices made in anger that created discord. But who am I to judge? I wasn’t there and people often say things they do not really mean to when in a temper. I shudder to think of where I would be now had I put aside my testimony because someone in the past or present committed human error, after all the gospel is perfect so why would I leave it due to someone else’s mistake? I was fortunate to have a mother who taught me to move forward if the Holy Ghost is leading me; to keep my eyes, mind and heart on the Savior so acutely that when doubts do creep in as a result of something I read or hear, I do not hesitate to keep on my path. As I have climbed such mountains, I was given peace of mind.
We must always remember that in any organization and history thereof, one will find a great amount of good. However, a foundation that has good intentions will always have mysteries, speculations, hearsay, misconceptions, and mistakes, all of which lead to contention and division– a complex recipe for chaos that is the adversary’s favorite dish to serve. Why? Because it is an endless cycle he can draw us into that will occupy our thoughts to the extent that we become consumed, our minds and hearts twisted until we find our testimonies slipping away. At that point we are no longer focused on the Gospel and he has won.
The peoples of the past were like the people of today are; human beings, most of whom had good intentions but made mistakes along the way. Those people have the same right to forgiveness as we do. It is wrong for us to condemn them or the Church for any errors that may have occurred. If the Savior can forgive them then we most certainly can and should. In these times it is vital to keep our focus on the Gospel today so that we can magnify it and enrich the lives of others through it. My focus remains on the Gospel, spreading the pure love of Christ, and moving forward because all will be well if we just follow Him.
